Drops of Water
Affirmation: United Methodists for Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender Concerns
April 29 | April 30 | May 3 | May 4 | May 5 | May 6 | May 7
April 29 - Affirmation to Host Transgendered Conversations during Common Witness Luncheon
Today’s lunch time at Smithfield United Church will include the opportunity to view a portion of the New England Annual Conference Reconciling Ministries Committee video production entitled, “Transgender Conversations: Experience and Reflections by Three United Methodists.” Diane DeLap, an Affirmation Council member and one of the three participants in the video, will host the presentation, from 12:30 to 1:30 p.m., which will include an opportunity to discuss with her pending legislation relating to Transgender persons serving as UMC clergy.
The Faith and Order Committee has two petitions, one to prevent anyone who has begun or completed the process of gender transition from serving as a Pastor in the UMC, and a second directing the Church to utilize existing psychological,
spiritual and emotional evaluation criteria to determine the fitness of all Clergy candidates – including those identified as Transsexual or Transgender. In addition, the Higher Education and Ministry Committee has before it a proposal from MFSA to authorize a study of Transgender issues with a report to be submitted to the next General Conference.
In the Transgender Conversations video, Rev. Susan J. Morrison, pastor of the Lexington (MA) UMC, conducts a roundtable discussion with the Rev. Sarah Flynn, Diane, and Jeff Johnston as they recount their experiences in the church, their reflections on scripture, and their journeys to resolve their gender identity. Both Rev. Flynn and Diane are male-to-female transsexuals while Jeff Johnston is a female-to-male transsexual. Rev. Flynn is a retired United Methodist pastor who served churches both before and after her transition. Jeff Johnston was born into a United Methodist family, and was baptized and confirmed in the United Methodist Church. He brings the prospective of a young adult to the conversation. He is a member of Cambridge Welcoming Ministries at Grace UMC, Cambridge (MA).
The 45-minute video comes with study materials and resources and will be available at the presentation.
April 30 - Where's Affirmation?
Jim Palmquist serves as one of two liaisons with Smithfield Church and coordinated many logistics. Jim hung the Love Makes a Family Exhibit.
Kathryn Mitchem staffs the meet-here.com space from 6:30 A.M. to 12 noon weekdays.
Peggy Gaylord coordinated the presence of the Love Makes a Family Photo Exhibit, and has participated in much of the partnership work.
Diane DeLap is facilitating the Lunchtime Video discussions and doing flyer desktop publishing.
Gary Shephard has worked behind the scenes on much of our presence at GC 2004 and is co-editing the Newsletter.
Judy WestLee is co-editing the Newsletter
Ken Rowe is working on Hot Water Topics.
Both Peggy and Ken as spokespeople have been networking and articulating the vision of Affirmation to the church.
Affirmation volunteers have also been plugged into the Common Witness volunteer pool.
As a volunteer organization, Affirmation couldn't exist or be a presence at GC without help from people like you. Thanks to all who make it possible to witness to an inclusive church. We are here. It's not debatable.
Affirmation to Host Bisexuality Talks During Common Witness Lunch
God and sex. Religion and freedom of choice. In the video Bi-sex'u- al, three UCC members explain how they reconcile their bisexual orientation to their faith, and demonstrate how they are reaching out to others to encourage self-acceptance. Their courage is inspiring. Their openness is refreshing. Their stories will capture your heart. This video will not answer all questions about bisexuality. It is an introduction to three individuals and their stories.
Diane DeLap, an Affirmation Council member, will host the lunch time discussion on bisexuality from 12:45 to 1:45 CC
The 30-minute video, bi-sex'u-al, is available through UCC Resources (800-537-3394). It comes with a study / leader's guide for discussion.
Service of Hope Gathers Divergent Worship Views
Let's review: we all believe in God; we all accept Christ Jesus as Savior; we do not agree on whether or not homosexuality is sinful or acceptable to the church. Hmmm, it seems it's time to gather for prayer and worship. Which people of various views will do at 3:30 p.Mmunday, May 2, at First United Methodist Church, 5401 Center Ave., Pittsburgh.
Those attending will not be asked to endorse any particular position. Instead, we will gather for worship, prayer and communion, asking that God will lead us to treat one another with respect in the midst of our challenging disagreements.
Organizers explain their goal is to encourage prayer, reflection and dialogue across the entire United Methodist Church as we address these difficult issues. As we struggle together with our disagreements, can we do so in a manner that honors Christ?, ask the organizers. With a tone of humility and with prayers for wisdom, this service will focus on Jesus Christ. Each participant will be asked to search his/her own heart and beliefs for authentic ways to reach out in love and ministry to all people. In addition, we will be challenged to work toward unity with integrity for those on all sides of this discussion.
Bishop George Bashore and Bishop Richard Wilke will speak. Bishop William Morris and Bishop Mary Ann Swenson will lead liturgy and communion.
Prayer Vigil Planned Day Of LGBT Votes
We understand several votes related to full inclusion of lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender (LGBT) persons in the church will take place on Tuesday. Prior to these votes, people will gather at 6:30 a.m. Tuesday at Smithfield Church, in the Common Witness Hospitality Space, to begin a prayer witness and procession.
Once before in 1964 progressive Methodists gathered at Smithfield for prayer and procession around General Conference. They prayed for the end of segregation and the end of the Central Jurisdiction. On Tuesday, we join their prayers and historic actions to end segregation and injustice in the United Methodist Church.
All those who would like to "have the mind that was in Christ and walk as Jesus walked" (as suggested by John Wesley) are invited to come to Smithfield Church at 6:30 a.m. Tuesday. We will proceed from there to the Convention Center where we will kneel in prayer.
Drops of Water
I was probably about 8 or 9 years old when I first saw the Flume Gorge in New Hampshire's Franconia Notch State Park. I remember we were on our annual vacation to New Hampshire, and had rented a lakeside cabin on Silver Lake, NH. We were on one of our "day trips" as my mother called them. These were usually opportunities for my parents to gaze at beautiful mountain scenery, while I sat, bored, in the back seat of the car, wishing I was back at the lake swimming.
This time though was different. Following a short walk into the woods, we came upon the most amazing sight I had yet seen in my young life. The Flume Gorge is a 10 to 15 foot wide, 70 foot deep, crack in the granite extending 800 feet into the base of Mount Liberty through which a small stream cascades. Beginning at "Table Rock" at the top, water flows down, around, and through several of the most amazing waterfalls, coursing through the gorge that it has cut through the basalt that solidified in a crack in the solid granite of the mountain. It was astounding to me then to realize that this small stream had cut its way through solid rock.
I have been back to the Gorge several times, and a few years ago I even took my own bored pre-teen son to the Gorge and watched that same sense of wonder come over his face. Each time I return I am reminded that lasting change does not just come through cataclysmic eruptions, but can also come through the slow erosion of a persistent force on a seemingly impregnable object. The eroding effects of that small stream of water are clearly visible on Table Rock, and even more so when I stand in the Gorge and realize that this deep crack was formed by the persistent flow of water through time. I'm sure that many of us have had similar experiences, maybe at the Grand Canyon or some other natural wonder.
The United Methodist Church is in a time of struggle. The last General Conference was, to many, a cataclysmic event that brought turmoil and destruction. I have spoken to many people who attended GC2000 who were shocked and dismayed by the attitude of exclusion and distrust that was fostered by the actions of the General Conference. I have heard the voices of those who say that we need to move on from issues of inclusion and get on with the "business of the Church." When I hear that, I always wonder what their idea of the "business of the Church" is, if it does not put a priority on inclusion of those who have been most marginalized by society. I am also concerned about others who seem to feel that the battle is un- winnable and who, in frustration, give up, many times abandoning the church.
To both sides of the conflict, Affirmation's General Conference 2004 theme speaks of our commitment to the long, tiresome, thankless task of being the drops of water that will eventually wear away the rocks of exclusion and bigotry. Based on Holly Near's and Meg Christian's 1970's song "The Rock Will Wear Away", it declares our solidarity with those of our number from the past who have given themselves to the effort, as well as those who will come in the future to continue our efforts. To those who hope by continuing a policy of exclusion based on distrust, misinformation, lies, and distortions, we say that we are here at this time to continue to be like drops of water to wear your opposition down. When we are gone, others will take our place to continue the struggle. The day will come when the rock of bigotry will wear away, and the light of God's love for all his people will come shining through like the sun shining through the forest into the darkness of the Flume.
"Can we be like drops of water falling on the stone splashing breaking dispersing in air Weaker than the stone by far but be aware that As time goes by the rock will wear away
"And the water comes again. And the water comes again. And the water comes again."
By Diane DeLap
Meg Christian & Holly Near, Singers & Songwriters, ® 1976 Thumbilina Music BMI/Hereford Music ACAP
Delegates: Please Vote What's on Your Heart If Not You, Who? If Not Now, When?
The coalition of Progressive United Methodists ask: "Is it civil disobedience to pray?" or "Will General Conference 2004 of The United Methodist Church demand all praying cease?"
Affirmation, the Methodist Federation for Social Action and the Reconciling Ministries Network will join together in prayer over the General Conference from 6:30 to 8:15 a.m. today (Tuesday, May 5) before the opening worship service and plenary session.
Members of these three organizations will kneel along the walkways of the Convention Center for 90 minutes. Prayers will be offered for the full inclusion of lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender persons in all aspects of The United Methodist Church.
The Prayer Vigil will be repeated 30 minutes each before the afternoon and evening Plenary Sessions.
The Call Never Goes Away
Sitting in the COSROW service Sunday, "Returning to the Well: A Celebration of Women Following Their Call," suddenly I was remembering my own call to ordination, one that I've experienced at least since age 10, and how it was not fulfilled until I was ordained in a non-mainline denomination 10 years ago. Even though I was able to be ordained elsewhere, it doesn't begin to "make up for" my call to ministry in the UMC. And even though it's been almost 30 years since I was exploring seminaries, finally realizing after the 1976 General Conference that the UMC was not ready for me nor I ready for the institutional UMC-I thought the wounds would heal completely over time; but the pain from the scars can again be triggered in settings like these at General Conference, especially during worship.
What pain? The pain of not being able to pursue my spiritual journey in the way I understood it; the pain of being laity and being excluded from the "inner circles" of my clergy friends (laity can't really understand, won't understand or respect confidentiality, etc.); the pain of no longer speaking of the pain because it's been so long, how could it possibly still be an issue, still ache or stab at times? Though I withdrew voluntarily from the ordination process, I didn't begin to know the spiritual and emotional price I would pay over the years for not following then where I felt led.
In 1988 I saw a man in an official role for General Conference with UM Communications. We had dated for several months while I was a freshman at Cornell. I didn't want to be pressured into a commitment while still a freshman, did not want to be pressured into a sexual intimacy beyond what seemed to be appropriate for me in the context of the rest of my life at that time; I wasn't sure I aspired to being a pastor's wife. When I suggested that possibly we should shift to seeing each other a little less, he grabbed me by my throat and shook me to try to convince me to stay in the relationship. He convinced me only not to be in a relationship again where my partner was significantly larger than I. I saw him at Boston Theological Seminary three years later when I visited a session for prospective students. He could pursue his call to ministry, and I couldn't.
I see other friends here who have been able to answer their call to ordained ministry. One person was someone I considered a close friend prior to her call to ministry. She was supportive of me, saw things with a different perspective than most, valued who I was-had been particularly nurturing when I finally shared that I am bisexual. Though I'm not aware of any conscious rift and sometimes I long for that lost connection, I think maybe it was natural that we would go our separate ways; her journey to seminary reminded me, and her obviously successful ministry reminds me, that she could pursue her call to ministry, and I couldn't.
While in my own case the process never reached an official determination of whether I had gifts and graces to offer the church, I've watched many people over the years, friends and acquaintances- lesbian, gay, bisexual, and transgender people-whose gifts and graces had been confirmed and who:
*have pursued their call to ministry; *have been stripped of their ordination; *have voluntarily given up their orders; *have transferred to other denominations; *have withdrawn from the UMC or from Christianity-and some who have withdrawn from life, who have committed suicide when their call to be ordained was denied or they were denied at some other point in their ordination process.
Today, I am at General Conference, committed to answering the call resulting from my baptism: to be present; to stand; to speak, listen, and hear; for all those who have not been able to answer their call.
By Peggy Gaylord
Something Is Missing
"Something must have been left out of the recipe 'cause it didn't turn out at all like it was supposed to!"
How often has this scenario happened to you or folks you know? Following a recipe from a trusted friend or family member, how high did your joyful excitement rise before falling to deep despair as you realized something must have been left out of the recipe 'cause it didn't turn out at all like it was supposed to!
Half my life ago, I found myself married to a beautiful, young woman. We loved God and were so excited to be serving God together as a team. We had a beautiful new born son. I had recently graduated from Perkins School of Theology and had been ordained a deacon. All indications seemed to say, God was guiding and moving us toward a wonderful and blessed ministry. Wife by my side, I'd soon be ordained an elder in the Central Texas Conference. But something must have been left out of the recipe 'cause it didn't turn out at all like it was supposed to!
Before our wedding, I told my beautiful bride-to-be about the occasional attractions I felt to men, and I assured her I had never acted on those attractions. We agreed to proceed with our wedding plans as we were confident that our shared prayer life would bring God's power against all evil and our marriage would be so fantastic that my attractions to men would fade away. I had accepted Jesus, the Christ as my personal savior more than 10 years earlier, so that part of the recipe was already taken care of. We knew our gracious God would cause my attractions to men to fade away to nothingness. But something must have been left out of the recipe 'cause it didn't turn out at all like it was supposed to!
Before our first wedding anniversary, I knew my attractions to some men were not fading as they were supposed to. Even though some attractions were strong, I remained faithful to my wife. She encouraged me to seek counseling. I also tried a seminar and books promising freedom from homosexuality. I asked strong prayer warriors to pray for me and with me. Still, something must have been left out of the recipe 'cause it didn't turn out at all like it was supposed to!
After five years of marriage filled with internal torture, I filed for divorce, withdrew from seeking elders orders, and changed careers. How fervently we had followed the recipe of our trusted family in the faith, only to find out through personal trauma that something had been left out of the recipe 'cause it didn't turn out at all like it was supposed to!
Some 25 years later, my ex-wife, our son, and I all see how we did the right thing. We all see ourselves as much better off than had we tried to keep our marriage going without that special erotic love between partners in a long term, committed relationship. My ex-wife is now happily married, and I am too.
I met a wonderful Christian guy. We have built a long term, committed, monogamous relationship, and we celebrate our eighteenth anniversary this year. He has nudged me along with God to seek a place of ministry making use of the gifts and graces God has given me. I am finishing my first semester in my journey to become a licensed professional counselor.
Please help us put an end to stories like that of my ex-wife, my son, and me. Please correct the recipe so that others won't have to find out through personal trauma that something must have been left out of the recipe 'cause it didn't turn out at all like it was supposed to!
By Michael Bledsoe
MAY 5 - Reflections On Session Actions
The United Methodist Church had a moment yesterday to tell the truth that Christians are not of one mind on homosexuality. It is ironic. On the day we focus on ecumenical worship, and witness to unity within diversity, the General Conference would turn around and continue the lie - that we are of one opinion and that Christian teaching on the subject is also of one mind.
Tuesday we had the opportunity for another type of truth telling as delegates processed through a number of petitions. The votes didn't go particularly well, but I am confident that our diversity of opinion will continue to be expressed no matter what the General Conference passes.
I'm generally optimistic about the next 4 years and the rest of General Conference. I'm also optimistic that 3 out of 4 new members of the Judicial Council are moderate to progressive. The current conservative activist Judicial Council is not likely to continue without clear dissent.
The issues around lesbian, gay, bisexual, and transgender concerns will continue as long as bishops, pastors, and members continue to have lesbian, gay, bisexual, and transgender children. We are here in the United Methodist Church.
It's not debatable.
By Ken Rowe
Prayer Witness Continues
At the start of the morning, afternoon, and evening plenary sessions Tuesday volunteers for Common Witness partners Affirmation, MFSA and Reconciling Ministries Network lined the east and west lobby entrances to the convention center as well as the sky bridge from the Westin.
The morning witness lasted 90 minutes. The afternoon and evening witnesses lasted 30 minutes each.
It's All About Choices
I've been thinking more & more the last weeks about the choices that we all make in our lives. From the moment we hear the alarm go off in the morning and decide to rise to "seize the day" or hit the snooze bar, we make decisions. Big, life changing ones, and little, insignificant ones. Who our life partner will be. What socks to wear. What school or college to go to. Pizza or yogurt for lunch. To vote for full LGBT inclusion in the UMC - or not. To push the yes button or the no button. To come out and live as our authentic selves. To put on a skirt or slacks for work. Those last two were both big decisions for me. As a transsexual, coming out and having the freedom to decide to wear a skirt to work were two of the biggest decisions I have made.
This morning I stood in Smithfield United Church in Pittsburgh and listened as people from our Common Witness coalition were given instructions about protest activities that were to take place today. I could see the concern as people made personal choices about the level of their involvement in those activities and I thought of those activities and I thought of those delegates who at the same time were making choices about their votes.
My thoughts about the choices we make began several weeks ago, when my partner told me that a relative, one who I have loved as a mother for most of my life, was having difficulties struggling with my gender transition. She couldn't understand why I would "choose" this lifestyle. Why couldn't I just be satisfied with living my life the way God created me. Her struggles sadden me and I wish I could help her to understand that the choice is not to be transgender or not. I wish that she and others who talk about the choice GLBT folks make to come out could understand that it is not a choice of how to live our lives but rather if we will live our lives or not.
It may sound melodramatic to some - but for many - if not most of us - the choice is not if we will live lives as our authentic selves, but if we can survive the criticism and hate that those in our lifestyles receive or if we will simply succumb to the despair that comes with the realization that most of society doesn't care to understand our pain and would just prefer that we go away. Far too many of us oblige by deciding to terminate our time in this life. It quite literally is the life or death decision to live authentically or give up our lives in despair that we cannot be accepted by those who we care most for. For many of us that search for acceptance includes our church family and is why the choices that the current UMC General Conference makes are so important.
I know that many conservative United Methodists would prefer that the issue of homosexuality would go away, but it will not until the church recognizes that simply saying that "homosexual persons are of sacred worth" is not enough. Part of being a Christian is the desire to serve the Lord in whom our faith is placed. For many in the GLBT community, that desire to serve is heightened by the sense of gratitude we feel for the love and acceptance that comes with the decision to accept the grace that Christ offers.
The sense of self-criticism and doubt melts away as we feel God's grace in our lives and is replaced with an overwhelming desire to serve the one whose love we feel. When Christ's church rejects us and tells us that we are not permitted to serve because, what is a part of our very nature, is "incompatible" with Christian service it is devastating.
The Church is supposed to love us as Christ does. How dare people who claim to represent Him say that another part of the body is "incompatible"? Some of us make the choice to fight back in anger and frustration. Others leave the church in anger and distrust rejecting the faith. Still others find comfort in other Church traditions that are more accepting.
Finally, the choices that we make have been weighing on my mind the past few weeks since I led the last week of our Adult Lenten study at the church we attend. We were studying Marcus Borg's book "Reading the Bible Again for the First Time" and I had volunteered to lead the discussion of the last chapter on Revelation. Revelation has always been one of my favorite books. Perhaps because its message is one of hope to oppressed Christians of the late first century, its message is particularly meaningful to me as part of an oppressed community within the Church today. To many, who seek to make its message a literal one, Revelation can be confusing. But to me the beautiful and powerful imagery of the end times and the message of hope that it brings is one of the most comforting of the Bible. In contrast to the message of the fall in Genesis stands the message of triumph of glory in Revelation.
However, one of the themes of Revelation is the message of the consequences of our choices. There will come for all of us the opportunity to stand before the throne of God and account for the choices of our lives. What that will consist of, I have no idea. The effect of the application of the all-encompassing grace of Jesus to those who claim him as Lord and Master, is unclear. I do know that even Jesus spoke of this judgment and the effect of the treatment of the outcasts of society on that judgment (Mt. 25). Clearly, our choices today will be accounted for at some point.
To the delegates of General Conference I would suggest that you think carefully about your selections. The time is coming when you will stand before the Master and Creator of all and will answer the question "What have you done for these, the least of mine?" Will you be able to answer with assurance that you have stood firm for the inclusion of all Christ's children, or will your decisions and the voices of those to whom they have brought pain and despair come flooding in to convict you?
By Diane DeLap
Open Hearts, Open Minds, Open Doors
Seeing Is Believing
Open Hearts, Open Minds, Open Doors: We'll believe it when we see it!
Tuesday was a very hard day for the Drops of Water GC daily newsletter editors to sit in the plenary session.
Once again the church has upheld the lie that we choose to be different.
Once again the church has upheld the lie that "it's just a behavior that we could change if we wanted to."
Once again the church has ignored our stories of faith, pain, and suffering, of who we are, and how our different-ness has impacted our faith journeys.
Once again the church has failed to minister to people struggling with the sexual orientation and gender identity they were born with.
Once again many progressives will give up on the church and go elsewhere. And the decline in member-ship numbers will be blamed, by conservatives, on lack of clarity, lack of doctrine, and lack of adherence to their definition of purity.
As one delegate put it Tuesday, the Open Hearts, Open Minds, Open Doors campaign is a waste of money because it just isn't true.
If We Have No Peace, It is Because We Have Forgotten that We Belong to Each Other. -Mother Theresa
This morning history will be made. The General Conference as a body had a chance to make history earlier this week to truly be a church of Open Hearts, Open Minds and Open Doors. That chance was lost. But this morning after worship you are invited to join our friends and allies as members of Affirmation, RMN and MFSA are joined by SoulForce to circle the bar of the General Conference. It will be a chance to allow the delegates who don't know our faces and our stories, to look us in the eye; to hear our voices; and to witness to the Holy Spirit in our lives.
We invite you to Stand Up with us. If you feel so called, we also invite you to Stand Up and join the Everflowing Stream of Witnesses who will be encircling the conference floor for 15 minutes. At the end of that time, you are also invited to make a statement by coming out of the conference session and joining in a Soulforce Rally. The rally will be 20-30 minutes in a designated area just outside the West Entrance of the Convention Center (the side away from the river).
Delegates, Bishops, Staff and Visitors are encouraged to join in the Everflowing Stream of Justice and Love. It is your decision to return to your chairs or bleachers at the end of the 15 minutes or join Soulforce outside for the brief rally. If at any time you need to return to your seat, please feel free to do so, or find a place to Stand Up in solidarity.
This demonstration is not a time for civil arrests or violating church rules. It is a time to Stand Up and deliver the clear message that we will not stand still for violations of baptismal vows and we will continue to create a Justice-Loving church.
By Ken Rowe, Affirmation Co-Spokesperson
Murder, Suicide Stories Requested
The lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender (LGBT) issue is still a physical life and death issue for many of our brothers and sisters, not just an issue of what the church is going to do with us or allow us to do. Yes, it impacts us if we can't have holy unions or be ordained, or can't agree to disagree-but if we're not alive, these issues are irrelevant.
We are looking for names of LGBT United Methodists (people who were somehow connected to the UMC however loosely-family, attendance, friends, partners, etc.) who were murdered or who committed suicide. Even if the name can't be published, we'd like to know of the tragedy. One suggestion is to create a web page of remembrance. Our intent was to focus on this message in our presence at General Conference 2004, but because of the stigma involved, we have not been able to assemble even anecdotal evidence.
Please send names and/or stories to Peggy Gaylord, co-spokeperson of Affirmation at aMiracleToday@p... or P.O. Box 2988, Binghamton, NY 13902-2988.
Is It Time For A Schism?
I and others of our coalition had an interesting opportunity to meet with some of the leadership of the Good News, Confessing Movement and others.
I think it's ironic that none of us from our coalition leadership mentioned schism as an alternative. I expressed that Affirmation remains committed to full inclusion of all, where all means all. In my growing up years, I found that the Methodist Church allowed for a diversity of opinions. I graduated from high school in 1971, so no restrictive language related to lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender had yet been written into The Book of Discipline (General Conference started in 1972).
In 1972 when I could vote for the first time, there were three Methodist-identified Presidential candidates-George McGovern, George Wallace, and Shirley Chisolm, reflecting some significant diversity. I grew up believing that we could co-exist with differences such as these because we had a common core belief in Jesus Christ and the necessity of acting on our call to live out the gospel. As I have expressed often throughout this General Conference, I see nothing exclusionary about Christ's example.
Even if we were to agree that homosexuality is a sin as purported by a number of delegates speaking on the floor-with which Affirmation clearly doesn't agree-I remember Tony Campolo asking, why are we targeting this particular sin? There are only a handful of references in the Bible, including the Old Testament, that might be interpreted as being specific about homosexuality; there are over 500 references to greed. Why aren't we taking greed more seriously?
Affirmation uses consensus to make our organizational decisions. Parliamentary procedure is majority rule with minority consent, essentially only two positions. This does not allow for working through to create something new whereas consensus often allows for a new possibility, something that none of us had thought of. How can we do that within the UMC? How can we enact our belief: "In God, all things are possible"?
By Peggy Gaylord, Affirmation Co-Spokesperson
MOTHER LOVE
Why don't you leave! They shout, murmur, demand, whimper. Why not go where you're welcome, which isn't here. Don't you know about majority rule? about rule of law? about discipline and order?
O God, I know.
And I know about living, scared and faithful, to another rule: do not abandon the babies.
And so I stay, dancing, arguing, weeping, loving- refusing to leave, so long as you have babies and some of them are gay.
Jeanne Knepper March 26, 1999
I'm exited and tired, exhilarated and numb. As we hit deadline for the final "Drops of Water," the General Conference is still in session with tons of work to do. It is hard to get a good sense of the state of the church. It is safe to say our stances are a bit more to the Right than expected, and the coordinating and oversight of boards and agencies could be more in the hands of the in-inclusive faction in the church. On the other hand, many extremely negative statements were defeated, and the moderate / progressives candidates dominated the final results of Judicial Council and University Senate elections. All current boards and agencies will remain for the time being and there will be no radical change in the distribution of Bishops. There has not yet been the complete Southern Baptistification of The United Methodist Church, but we are still on that path.
Thursday morning a powerful witness was presented to the General Conference by a multitude of faithful folk from Soulforce, RMN, Affirmation, MFSA, bishops, delegates, staff, and visitors. We not only encircled the bar, we rolled the river of justice through the delegate seating, around the community table, and among the bishops. We want to thank all those who made it possible. You know who you are. A special thanks to SoulForce for working with such integrity and honesty this week as they and others negotiated the action.
Where do we go from here? That is an individual choice. If all the progressives left the denomination today, I believe that Affirmation would remain within The United Methodist Church to witness, care for, and feed those baptized who come out and whose hearts are opened. The reality is that as a movement, we aren't leaving. We are continuing to celebrate the Spirit's movement in our lives and work to strengthen the connection between movements for inclusion and justice. For me, this General Conference is a time to reprioritize. I personally am committed to becoming active in the Reconciling Clergy, MOSAIC, and MFSA. This in addition to continuing in Affirmation. I hope to see many old and new friends at the Affirmation program retreat this fall and at MFSA's "Voices of Faith" March 31 - April 2, 2005.
By Ken Rowe, Affirmation Co-spokesperson
The Rock Will Wear Away Eventually
We came. We witnessed. We did our best to be the drops of water to wear away the stone. We find that this stone is a very hard stone. We did not succeed in wearing it away this time.
With that we recognize that there will be membership losses. Some progressive members will despair of the church ever changing, will tire of the process, and leave for more spiritually fulfilling pastures.
We also recognize that some may rejoice in our pain, having retained and clarified what they see as the 'doctrinal purity of the church.' To you we say that any victory that results in suffering and spiritual injury to others is a hollow victory at best. Our church has failed to declare itself a church to all of sacred worth.
To our members, we say,
Can we be like drops of water Falling on a stone? Splashing, breaking, dispersing in air Weaker than the stone by far but be aware That as time goes by The rock will wear away. And the water comes again.
Meg Christian & Holly Near, Singers & Songwriters, ® 1976 Thumbilina Music BMI/Hereford Music ACAP
If I Were Not Here, Would You Tell My Story?
(EDITOR'S NOTE: The following is one story in many. Please send the one you know to the address at the end of the story.)
By Peggy Gaylord, Affirmation Co-Spokesperson
Suicide - we speak usually in hushed tones, euphemistically even more so than "normal" death. We don't want to hear about it. It seemed glossed over on the floor of the plenary session the other day when the rate was given of teen suicide related to sexual and gender identity issues, estimated at 30%. And it's not just teens - the rate for adults is probably higher as well, though these statistics are difficult to glean.
After being at the 1988 General Conference, volunteering the full time as a marshal, I heard the story of a woman who had committed suicide shortly thereafter. She was ordained a deacon as an open lesbian. After the voting, she knew she would not be allowed to be ordained an elder regardless of her gifts and graces. She had touched my life at a conference the previous year with a workshop she led, and then I had talked to her on the phone at great length one Saturday afternoon. I shared her story on the floor of my annual conference a few weeks later. We voted to become a Reconciling Conference. After the vote, our Bible study resource leader came up to me - he told me that he had married her (I was confused), performed the covenant service between her and her partner. Somehow, she had lost sight of the difference between the acceptance of the UMC, and the acceptance of God. I knew her as a profoundly grounded spiritual person.
Four years ago, I experienced many losses in every area of my life in a few short months, virtually everything that had been important to me including the end of a long-term relationship. Sometimes I had a feeling of just wanting out of life. Who doesn't in a time like that? When my unemployment ran out, I reached a point of physiological panic and anxiety that could not be controlled by medication. As soon as I consented finally to try medication, my suicidal thoughts escalated dramatically (which I now know was also a side effect of the drugs, but no doctor admitted it then). This occurred in the months prior to GC2000. Since I had gone to three General Conferences already, my identity defined me as someone who does that. When my life changed so much that I couldn't go and be present, it was utterly unacceptable to me - being disconnected from the body triggered me into a crisis that resulted in my first psychiatric hospitalization at age 46, during GC2000. While some were arrested in Cleveland, I was also locked up. I spent the next 10 months in hell, constantly suicidal, with little relief from traditional medical models, being hospitalized six times.
It stopped almost as quickly as it had started, with a series of spiritual experiences in a few short weeks and concrete physical help from one of my pastors, an old friend. I want to be clear - my sexual identity was not in question; however, the effects of our societal and religious lack of support in understanding gay- identified people's situations were a significant contributor to my suicidal ideation. I didn't find hospital staff and health care providers to be homophobic, but they were heterosexist.
Suicidal thoughts had been an issue for me over the years though they had diminished until this particular period of time. I think anyone who generally feels different, never feels that they really fit in, is susceptible to these kinds of thoughts. I hadn't used any medication for depression in 30 years. In 1987 I had participated in a week- long healing seminar and was prayed over to remove these thoughts. It was over two years before I had an occasional thought again. I was healed of my alienation in the world, not my sexual orientation. But sometimes suicide is a little contagious. When I heard a couple of years ago about a former Affirmation Council member who had killed himself, I spent a few days thinking that maybe it really is a valid option.
What makes this worse in a way is that I no longer think of it mainly as a way out; my belief has become that I would return to God and the Peace that passes all understanding in that other dimension beyond this world. Who wouldn't want to be "in God" instead of inside the plenary sessions of the United Methodist Church? When I lose the feeling that God is still present in this world, I just want to go Home. Somehow, I have to nurture my connection to God here in the present, and I need your help to do that. We primarily see God in how we experience each other. "May the God in me greet the God in thee." -Namaste.
Fortunately, I have been virtually free of suicidal thoughts for three years. But, if I chose to leave this world, would you tell my story of how the church didn't help me keep that sense of being able to be connected to God in this world?
Please send names and/or stories to Peggy Gaylord, Affirmation Co-Spokesperson, at aMiracleToday@p... or PO Box 2988, Binghamton, NY 13902-2988.
I's Been Fun...Sorta...
Coming to GC to edit and produce a daily newsletter was a challenge. Writing stories, soliciting stories, formatting it, proofing it.all in a few short hours. We did it because we were chained to our laptops and had no choice.
You had 2 co-editors, Gary Shephard and Judy WestLee. They have been co-editing the quarterly printed Affirmation newsletter for about a year. Judy is hanging up her editor's pencil after the next print issue. (That's a hint that applications are being taken. See www.umaffirm.org or write Ken Rowe at kianrowe@e....). GC 2008 will be in Fort Worth, TX, Gary's turf. So, he's not certain if he'll be helping out with local logistical issues or what.
If you've particularly enjoyed or been moved by a piece in our GC newsletter, we would certainly like to hear about it. If there was anything you think we really fouled up, well, be gentle but we need to hear about that, too, for the next GC daily newsletters so that we can do better next time.
Gary Shephard Judy WestLee
Special Final Day Events Friday, May 7
"Baptized, Blessed, and Beloved: We Are Still Standing" - Family Gathering with Lunch - 1 p.m. Smithfield United Church, Common Witness space. A time for sharing feelings and stories, singing songs, sharing "Miracle Moments," and gathering as family before we leave Pittsburgh to be the church of Jesus Christ from sea to shining sea. Join us at our home away from home, Smithfield United Church.
After GC Closing Session - The actual ending time of the closing session is unknown. Common Witness volunteers are invited to find the rainbow outside the primary exit of the plenary hall to stand together as a lasting witness to the delegates as they depart GC 2004. Send them home with the message, "We are still standing!" Then follow the rainbow and leaders to the Holy Communion site for a celebration of grace for all God's children.
Evening Gathering - "Celebration of Life!" - After our Witness after the Closing Session. All Common Witness volunteers are invited to celebrate together at Tuscany's on 1501 E Carson St., a short walk from the Holiday Inn Express, our other home away from home.