"How many Church Trials will United Methodism have before it can hear people cry?"

Church Within A Church
Gil Caldwell
April 2, 2004

As I sat in the Bothell United Methodist Church, outside the "court room" waiting to be called as a witness for the Rev. Karen Dammann, I thought of Peter, Paul and Mary singing, "How many ears must a (man) have before (he) can hear people cry?"

I know Jimmy Creech, I know Greg Dell, and I know some other persons who have had charges filed against them that resulted in church trials. I know some of the bishops who brought the charges and some of the bishops who presided at those trials. United Methodism claims to be a connectional church, which we are in many positive ways. But, even with all the wonderful effective and efficient connectional energy that I experienced in Bothell, Washington, church trials demonstrate that we are also a disconnected church.

We who are the daughters and sons of John Wesley, whose founding mothers and fathers were members of a "movement" rather than an established church, all of us heirs of the Protestant Reformation; we must ask ourselves a serious question: Are we confident that punishing persons who acknowledged their same-gender loving relationships, and punishing clergy who publicly enable these couples to confirm their love, represents the will of God?

As a witness I was told that I could not be present in the "courtroom" (fellowship hall) until it was time for me to testify. Thus, on Wednesday afternoon and Thursday morning, I got acquainted with the people, the sanctuary and the furniture of Bothell UMC. The people were wonderful and the Cookie Lady was a particular joy. I spent time in the church's magnificent sanctuary, listening to the music of Taize', kneeling at the communion rail, focusing. Then on Thursday afternoon my moment arrived.

Once in the witness seat, I saw the presiding Bishop to my left, the 13 clergy men and women of the trial court "jury" on my right, the respondent Rev. Karen Dammann and her counsel at a table in front of me, and counsel for the church to their right. In front of all of us was the attentive collection of persons who were there to observe and listen.

Our Discipline's 17-page section on Investigations, "Trials, and Appeals" begins with paragraph 2701. Centuries from now, when archaeologists dig up the remains of the 2000 Book of Discipline listing chargeable offenses plus the investigation and trial process, they will wonder about the emphases of our ministry. They will ponder where the records are of the "justice, reconciliation and healing that may be realized in the body of Jesus Christ," which we claim is the purpose of "Judicial Proceedings."

In an effort not to bore the reader with the specifics of my testimony I will share in shorthand, what I sought to convey. (not in the exact order of my presentation). Dr. James Forbes, the Senior Minister of New York's Riverside Church had been in Denver (my home city) the week-end before and I found myself repeating to the court the words and song that he used to speak on the theme, "The Healing of the Nation": "Spirit of the living God fall afresh on me Spirit of the Living God, fall afresh on me. Melt me. Mold me... ." I had spoken these words many times to myself almost in mantra-like fashion, before my time on the witness stand.

In my testimony I said that at one time African Americans were "incompatible" in Methodism, not because of what we had done, but because of who were, racially. Thus, most African Americans in the church "union" compromise of 1939 were assigned and consigned to a racially segregated Central Jurisdiction. I looked at the clergywomen of the Trial Court and said that once they were thought to be "incompatible" for ordained ministry in Methodism, because of their gender. But, with the passage of time, moral and intellectual enlightenment, and through the moving of the Holy Spirit, Blacks and women became "compatible" in the hearts and minds of church decision- makers. Since God is never "finished" with the transformation of persons and the church, and Bothell was a wonderful place, I suggested that each one of us in the courtroom ask to be used as God's instruments of continuing transformation for the church.

My most remembered moment of "witnessing" at the trial was evoked by a question asked of me by the Conference counsel that I paraphrase: "Is not the present quarrel in the United Methodist Church on homosexuality, much like the disagreements and quarrels that husbands and wives have?" I answered yes and, as I looked at Ms. Dammann sitting in front of me, I spoke these words: "But most of the husbands and wives that I know seek not to hurt, injure, punish and cast out, their children or other relatives while the argument is taking place."

I returned to Denver on Friday while the trial continued, eager and persistent to learn the verdict. When I heard on Saturday that the verdict had been issued with 11 not guilty votes and two undecided, I was pleased beyond imagination. Yet, I knew that some persons in the denomination could not fathom that the Holy Spirit was present throughout the proceedings and that the clergy of the trial court issued their "surprise" decision in response to Divine interaction.

However, my experience has taught me that it is in the unexpected and the surprises that I felt most powerfully the presence of God. Sometimes in our African American cultural journey we say; "God may not come when you want God, but God always comes on time."

Delegates in Pittsburgh would do well to recall 2003. The year was much like 1954 when the U S Supreme Court reversed an earlier Court ruling that declared "separate but equal" schools were legally legitimate. In 2003 the U. S. Supreme Court determined that legal authorities had no right to violate the right to privacy, nor the practices of same-gender persons in their bedrooms. Also, the Massachusetts Supreme Judicial Court ruled that the equality provisions in their state Constitution applied to all people rather than some people.

Will United Methodists further our internal chaos by maintaining our present excluding and punitive legislation? Or, will we move to new community by agreeing to disagree as we sit together at table? The authenticity of our table fellowship is valid only as all of us have a place. Excluding some from sharing their stories, compromises the power and possibilities of table fellowship. Again the courts of our land are beginning to edge toward decreeing "democratic inclusivity" while we in the church lag behind. The Massachusetts Legislature affirmed same-gender unions after their Supreme Judicial Court said yes to equality of access to marriage for all. What now are we going to say and decide in United Methodism?

Is it any wonder that Martin Luther King asked the question, "Why is the church always a taillight rather than a headlight?"

Many know the story of the smart aleck young man and the wise old man. The young man with bird in hand went to the old man and asked," Is the bird alive or dead?" If the old man said dead, the young man would release the bird and it would fly away. If the answer was alive, the young man planned to crush and kill the bird and show its mangled and dead body to the old man. After pausing and pondering the question asked of him, the old man finally said, "Whatever you will my son, whatever you will."

Alan Paton, in one of his novels written before the ending of apartheid, puts these words into the mouth of a black South African preacher. "By the time they get around to loving us, we shall have gotten around to hating them."

We have spent too many years crushing and killing our sisters and brothers, even as we continue to debate. I call us to pray that in the Pittsburgh General Conference, those who are the decision makers will open their hearts, minds and hands to allow for life rather than continuing death in the church. So many want to love our church, but it seems committed to making us hurt, and in time some will hate it.

We have wounded too many persons. I pray that healing will begin in Pittsburgh.

Gil Caldwell Denver, Colorado

Gil Caldwell was an activist with Dr. Martin Luther King in the historic civil rights movement. He is a retired pastor, having served the church in several annual conferences and national agencies. He is currently a member of the national Coordinating Team of the Church Within A Church movement in the United Methodist Church.