Definitions:



   Asymmetric Warfare

       Dropping a large hydrogen bomb on Mecca. Also known as
       "Jihad, Texas-Style"



   Beer

       Beer is food.



   Benelux

       The Belgium - Netherlands - Luxembourg region of Europe.
       (Also known as the Triangle of Evil.)



   Bermanization

       The process of destroying Star Trek as an interesting concept.



   Bluegrass

       Bluegrass is country music that is polyphonic in character
       and is played on unamplified string instruments.



   Brian Wilson

       Brian Wilson is God.



   Brokerburger

       If we lose our sense of humor, then Bin Laden has truly won.
       (You may need to brush up on your Heinlein.)



   Chantefleur Blanc de Blancs

       Chantefleur Blanc de Blancs is made from the Ugni Blanc,
       Grenache Blanc and other French varietals.



   Chicken Marengo

       Chicken Marengo consists of a sauce made of oil and water,
       a chicken, eggs cooked in the sauce with some garlic and tomatoes,
       and six crayfish, steamed over the chicken as it cooks in brandy.



   Cleveland

       Cleveland is a tac nuke magnet.



   Cosmoline

       Cosmoline is a heavy-grade lubricant used to protect machine surfaces.
       It smells like surplus military parts.



   Danger Zone, The

       Black women, black rum, and waterspouts.



   Desperation Domain Name

       A really long domain name.



   Elg

       Elg is Norwegian for moose.



   Everything

       Everything is deeply intertwingled.



   Foamie

       A bodyboarder.



   Good

       Good is a noun.



   Hacker

       A hacker is an explorer and/or creator of systems.



   Hangry

       Hangry is hungry + angry.



   Heisenmurphy

       The space that your mind cannot comprehend.



   Henids

       A word coined by Jack London for which there is no known meaning.



   Hiddenite

       Hiddenite is strongly pleochroic.



   IEBEYEBALL

       To peruse a computer printout.



   Jupe

       To steal an Internet Relay Chat server name or client nick.



   Ke-Ke-Te-Huru-Huru

       Polynesian for "Heave Ho!"



   Kitsombe

       A slender wild potato that looks like shriveled asparagus.



   Laffyhahas

       The giggles.



   Lagon

       The space between too much and too little.



   Laughter

       We laugh because it hurts. Because it is
       the only thing that will make is stop hurting.
       Laughter is a bravery, and a sharing,
       against pain and sorrow and defeat.



   Love

       Love always hangs up behind the bathroom door.
       It smells like lysol.



   Lutefisk

       Lutefisk is dried cod that has soaked for days
       in water and lye.  Reconstituted, lutefisk
       has a bloated, translucent, Jell-O-ish quality,
       like something that has fallen to earth from outer space.



   Marmite

       Yeast, sugar, salt, wheatgerm extract, mineral salt (508),
       colour (caramel), herbs, spices, vitamins (niacin, thiamin, riboflavin).



   Matthew Effect

       The theory that discoveries are attributed to the person with the
       biggest reputation at the time.



   Mensan

       Mensans are smart fuckers who love to party.



   Nooner

       To have sex at high noon, as in
       "I think I'll go scare up the wife for a nooner."



   Pain

       Decolorized tincture of iodine.



   Pegmatite

       A course variety of granite, occurring in dikes or veins.



   Perlgrammer

       A Perl Programmer.



   Photon

       A photon is a tetrahedron.



   Pizza

       Pizza is essential. It is a sine qua non.



   Poetaster

       Poet + Disaster



   Promite

       Vegetable protein extract, sugar, yeast, natural colour (caramel),
       salt, thickener (Wheat starch), emulsifier (Glycerol monostearate),
       spices, added vitamins, water



   Pirsighian

       n: one who believe in or follows the writings of Robert Pirsig, or adj:
       relating to ideas presented in the writings of Robert Pirsig.



   Plectarine

       A cross between a plum and a nectarine.



   Puce

       A color varying from dark purplish brown to dark red.



   Quality

       Quality cannot be defined.



   Relationship

       (in Ohio) A six pack and a condom.



   Residual Anguish

       Residual Anguish is that which knowledge
       cannot conquer, even in a "perfect" society.



   San Diego in a Box

       An evaporative cooler.



   Schadenfreude

       A mischievous delight in the misfortune of another.



   Slammerkin

       A loose type of nightgown worn in the 18th century.  Also, a prostitute.



   Sleeping Dictionary

       The very best way to learn a new language.



   Slig

       A foul smelling, yet incredibly tasty pig/slug hybrid craved by the wealthy.



   Smile

       The greatest rock album that never was.



   Squeezle

       To hug a woman so that she squawks like a rubber ducky.



   Statti zitto e mangia!

       Italian for "Shut up and eat!"



   Sunshine Unit

       One micromicro curie (one millibecquerel) of strontium-90 per gram of calcium.



   Surströmming

       Fermented Baltic herring. Stinks to high heaven. (See also Lutefisk)



   Sympathy

       The definition for sympathy can be found
       in the dictionary, between shit and syphilis.



   Tanstaafl

       There Ain't No Such Thing As A Free Lunch!



   Tanty

       a tantrum.



   Teratogen

       (terato + gen: literally, monster maker)
       An agent, such as a virus, a drug, or radiation,
       that causes malformation of an embryo or a fetus.



   The Three B's

       Brahms, Brian Wilson, and Bluegrass.



   Tilapia

       Tilapias are pretty cool fish.



   Trashanium

       Today's trash dumps, when geologically buried
       and subjected to tremendous forces of heat and pressure,
       will become the high grade metallo-organic ores of the far future.



   Tree

       A tree is a tetrahedron.



   Tumbolia

       The land of burnt-out lightbulbs and dead hiccups.



   Vaterite

       A rare, high temperature polymorph of Calcite and Aragonite.



   Vegemite

       Yeast extract, salt, malt extract, colour (caramel),
       vegetable flavours, vitamins (niacin, thiamine, riboflavin).



   Weet-Bix

       Whole Wheat, Raw Sugar, Salt, Malt Extract,
       Vitamins (Niacin, Thiamin, Riboflavin, Folate), Mineral (Iron).



   White Cheddar Cheese Popcorn

       The Snack Food of the Nineties!



   Wolverine

       A souped up badger. (definition courtesy of Giltweasl)

       The wolverine is a very strong animal and a fierce fighter, knowing few
       dangers from other animals, with Man being its biggest threat. With strong
       claws, a strong sense of smell, and a tenacious spirit it can be a relentless
       hunter and scavenger. The wolverine has even been known to steal prey from
       a grizzly bear. The wolverine seems to have the attitude that if it can be
       eaten, it should be. It is called the glutton in some areas because of this desire
       to eat anything. The wolverine has a very strong and fast-acting digestive
       system, which allows it to eat a great deal of food very quickly. Because of
       its habit of scavenging, it has been called "the hyena of the North."

       "Picture a weasel -- and most of us can do that, for we have met
       that little demon of destruction, that small atom of insensate
       courage, that symbol of slaughter, sleeplessness, and tireless,
       incredible activity -- picture that scrap of demoniac fury,
       multiply that mite some fifty times, and you have the likeness
       of a Wolverine."

            Ernest Thompson Seton, 1953



   Yrch

       Elvish for Orc.



   6EQUJ5

       The "Wow!" signal.




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