The Screwup Song

by Rob Roper © 2006

The boss said you're hired, I think you'll do great
We just have one rule, you gotta be here at 8:00
6 months out of work, and I spent my last dime
But I forgot the alarm, and woke up at 9:00.

So here's to being lazy
And here's to being late
Here's to regrets
Here's to mistakes
And here's to being stupid
From drinking too much
And here's to people like us.

Oh, I've been in love, but I always get burned
So many times, you'd think that I'd learn
I could blame it on the women, or plain ole bad luck
But most of the time, I just screwed up

So here's to being lazy
And here's to being late
Here's to regrets
Here's to mistakes
And here's to being stupid
From drinking too much
And here's to people like us.

I've been selfish and lazy, a coward and a fool
Spent too much time, on the seat of a bar stool
I've hurt those who loved me, and I suffer regret
Sometimes they forgive me, but I never forget

(Bridge)
So I can't understand
When I hear people say
If they had it to do over
They'd do it the same way
But why would you do things
That cause so much pain?
If I could do it all over
I'd change everything.

I'd be rich, fat and happy, living the good life
With a beautiful house, and a beautiful wife
But then I wouldn't be here, singing this song
So I guess it worked out, that I did it all wrong.

So here's to being lazy
And here's to being late
Here's to regrets
Here's to mistakes
And here's to being stupid
From drinking too much
And here's to people like us.