Humor: Error Haikus

From a Salon Magazine contest.

See http://www.salon.com/21st/chal/1998/02/10chal2.html for full atributions of the authors.


 
HAIKU ERROR MESSAGES

Three things are certain:
Death, taxes, and lost data.
Guess which has occurred.

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Server's poor response
Not quick enough for browser.
Timed out, plum blossom.

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A file that big?
It might be very useful.
But now it is gone.

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Windows NT crashed.
I am the Blue Screen of Death.
No one hears your screams.

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Errors have occurred.
We won't tell you where or why.
Lazy programmers.

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Seeing my great fault
Through darkening blue windows,
I begin again

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The code was willing,
It considered your request,
But the chips were weak.

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Printer not ready.
Could be a fatal error.
Have a pen handy?

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Chaos reigns within.
Reflect, repent, and reboot.
Order shall return.

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Login incorrect.
Only perfect spellers may
enter this system.

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This site has been moved.
We'd tell you where, but then we'd
have to delete you.

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Wind catches lily
scatt'ring petals to the wind:
segmentation fault

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ABORTED effort:
Close all that you have.
You ask way too much.

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First snow, then silence.
This thousand dollar screen dies
so beautifully.

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With searching comes loss
and the presence of absence:
"My Novel" not found.

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The Web site you seek
cannot be located but
endless others exist

- - - - - - - - - - - - -

Stay the patient course.
Of little worth is your ire.
The network is down.

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A crash reduces
your expensive computer
to a simple stone.

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There is a chasm
of carbon and silicon
the software can't bridge

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Yesterday it worked.
Today it is not working.
Windows is like that.

- - - - - - - - - - - - -

You step in the stream,
but the water has moved on.
This page is not here.

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No keyboard present,
Hit F1 to continue:
Zen engineering?

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Out of memory.
We wish to hold the whole sky,
But we never will.

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Having been erased,
The document you're seeking
Must now be retyped.

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The ten thousand things.
How long do any persist?
Netscape, too, has gone.

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Rather than a beep
Or a rude error message,
These words: "File not found."

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Serious error.
All shortcuts have disappeared.
Screen. Mind. Both are blank.

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To have no errors
Would be life without meaning.
No struggle, no joy

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