KIDS IS KIDS

SOME PRACTICAL SUGGESTIONS FOR WORKING WITH CHILDREN AND TEEN-AGERS

What I don't know about children--both from an academic standpoint as well as from the more important one of experience--wouldn't fill a thimble.  I know my field--and I know it very well.

I should also add that a lot of my observations are based on the mistakes people working with children have made--many of them my very own!  Experience really is the best teacher.  If there was a mistake that could possibly be made, I've made it.

I am cited in the concluding sections of Volume 2 in current and past editions of Who's Who in America, and fully referenced in other publications by the publishers (Marquis, Incorporated) including Who's Who in the West, Who's Who of Emerging Leaders in America, and past editions of Who's Who in American Education and Who's Who in the World.  I am referenced in various other regional, national, and international biographical references as well.

Some suggestions to consider::

•  CHILDREN NEED A CODE OF ETHICS

Whether it is "This is nice; that is naughty" or "This is right; that is wrong," for very little youngsters, children  need some standard whereby to measure their actions.  From almost four hundred years ago--the time of the Horn Book as used in the Massachusetts Bay Colony--to the McGuffy Readers of a century ago or the really good reading and language arts books of today, stories and articles have been included that present situations where values can be discussed.

Also, the various 'codes' as taught in religious schools (whether Jewish, Muslim, or Christian--both Protestant and Catholic), both Boy and Girl Scouts, church groups such as Awanas or various other youth fellowships, 4-H, Campfire, and such  provide children with guidelines for their behavior, augmenting what is taught at home and in school.
 

• KEEP CHILDREN'S MINDS AND BODIES ACTIVE


As a Scoutmaster many years ago, I learned one very important lesson: if I wanted to get a good night's sleep, the kids had to sleep as well (I still remember the time in June, 1970 when I took a group of Canadian Cub Scouts on a 'Rope Hike' at 11:00 on a twilit night in north central Alberta).  Therefore, I make sure that the youngsters are tired when they 'hit the sack.'

There was nothing that upset me more than, as a principal, to see a bunch of kids' school papers in the trash.  If the teacher has made an assignment, then the children have the right to see their papers marked, graded, looked at, and returned promptly to them.

The more children's minds and bodies are kept active and not with busy-work, the less their hands find else in which to get: "Idle hands are the Devil's workshop!"
 

• GOOD FOOD (AND LOTS OF IT!) BUILD STRONG BODIES AND STRONG MINDS


Napoleon once said that "An Army marches on its stomach."  So do children (teenagers, especially!).  Keeping youngsters well fed with plentiful, nourishing, and tasty food not only helps them to stay happy but it also provides them with both 'brain energy' and 'brain food' to function as they should.

The old saw, "If you want to see better, eat your carrots" is very true, for the substance, carotene which is in carrots, does help with vision.  Organic foods and food additives that are natural rather than man-made help alleviate a lot of problems with children.  Salt, sugar, caffeine, and MSG--to name just a few--are all chemicals which--if in the wrong amount--can cause problems with children, some of whom may already be at risk from other situations, such as those with the special learning needs in the areas of the educational handicaps--emotional disturbance and learning disabilities.

I am very well aware that today's authorities are saying that sugar is not one of the food items which cause problems; I guess they have never had to wrestle a three year old into bed before 10:30 or 11:00 at night--after the youngster has gotten into candy--nor teach thirty or so third or fourth graders (for example) the morning after Halloween or Easter Monday [when the kids are well-wired and still on 'sugar highs!].

FOR FURTHER READING:
• Lendon H. Smith, M.D.  Improving Your Child's Behavior Chemistry (New York, NY: POCKET BOOKS, a division of Simon and Schuster, Inc., 1976)
• Lendon H. Smith, M.D. Feed Your Kids Right (New York, NY: Dell Publishing, Inc., 1979)

 
• CHILDREN NEED TO TRUST THE ADULTS WORKING WITH THEM


I am greatly concerned with today's attitude toward children who have gotten into serious trouble, perhaps even to the point of killing someone else.  The prevalent attitude of the 'authorities' is if the child is 'old enough to do the crime, then he is old enough to do the time.'  This is adult reasoning applied to children who, at best, do not reason as adults, let alone 'reason' rationally a good part of the time.  This is one of the ways they differ from 'adults.'

For children in trouble, it is not a matter of the adults having to trust the children, it is a matter of the children having to trust the adults.  They have been hurt in some manner--they must learn to trust adults again.  This is the only way that children with problems can be helped--and all of them are capable of being helped.

As Father Flannagan said some years ago, "There is no such thing as a bad boy."  With his permission, I am sure, I will amend that to say that there is no such thing as a bad boy or a bad girl.  There are confused ones, there are ones with problems beyond their ability to cope let alone understand, there are ones who have done some very terrible things, there are ones who don't know what to do let alone how to do it.

These youngsters must learn to trust the adults around them; this can only be accomplished by the adults trusting the children first!  Maybe it is in some small but very specific way such as taking a message to the office but that in turn leads to more trust and responsibility, perhaps helping another child who has an academic problem.

I have always seen teaching as a massive jigsaw puzzle, and that it was my task as both teacher and adult to find as many pieces of the 'puzzles' of each of my children and to put them in there proper places and so to pass those youngsters on to the next year's teachers as well prepared as I possibly could.  That certainly didn't mean that one teaching method would work with all children--it was my responsibility as a professional to find the right way to teach each child, to help each one learn, and in order to do that, my students had to trust me.

That trust came by way of my trusting them.
 






If I appear to be taking an inordinate amount of time working on this web site--well, I am!  This bit of being retired is for the birds as I am finding more and more to do and with less and less time to do it; I have about a dozen projects going right now, with this being one of them (a comparison study of various study Biblesis another as is a dollhouse of some complexity).  Also, with a number of pages of notes, covering forty-three years of my life's work, concerning children and education, I have to write rather lengthy explanations to get my point across (something of which I have long since been accused of doing--and am guilty as charged).  I am going have to divide this into sections and I sitll haven't figured out the necessary magic words to do that, either. Lastly, don't pay any attention to the counter at the end of this web site, as it doesn't work and I haven't figured out how to make it do so.

If you have specific questions, please feel free to email or write to me at the addresses provided at the end of this epistle.

ADDITIONAL TOPICS TO BE ADDRESSED:
 

• RESPECT FOR ADULTS BEGINS WITH RESPECT FOR THE CHILDREN

 
• TREAT OTHERS THE WAY YOU WANT TO BE TREATED

 
•  THREE BASIC RULES: OBEDIENCE, RESPECT AND TRUST, TRUTHFULNESS

 
• CHILDREN NEED TO BE TAUGHT TO THINK

 
• CHILDREN ARE WORTHWHILE: THEY HAVE MUCH POTENTIAL FOR GOOD.

 
• CHILDREN NEED RESPONSIBILITIES COMMENSURATE WITH THEIR AGES


                    

• CHILDREN CAN CONTIBUTE TO SOCIETY; THEY CAN MAKE A DIFFERENCE.

 
• CHILDREN NEED TO BE EXPOSED TO 'REAL' TEACHING AND LEARNING

 
• ALL CHILDREN CAN LEARN TO AT LEAST SOME EXTENT; ALL CAN CHANGE BEHAVIOR

 
• ALL CHILDREN NEED TO SEE THEMSELVES AS WINNERS

 
• CHILDREN NEED TO BE TAUGHT TO BE LADIES AND GENTLEMEN

 
• CHILDREN NEED LOTS OF EXPOSURE TO LEARNING EXPERIENCES

 
• NOT ALL LEARNING TAKES IN THE CLASSROOM

 
• CHILDREN NEED TO BE LOVED AS WELL AS ACCEPTED FOR WHO--AND WHAT--THEY ARE

 
• CHILDREN WILL STAY WHERE THEY ARE WANTED AND WHERE THEY ARE HAPPY

 
• WHEN CHILDREN COMMIT CRIMES, THEY REALLY DO NOT UNDERSTAND EITHER WHAT OR WHY THEY HAVE DONE SOMETHING WRONG


                    

• CHILDREN NEED TO BE TAUGHT BEFORE THEY CAN BE PUNISHED FOR WRONG-DOING

 
• KIDS NEED STRONG VALUES

 
• YOUNGSTERS NEED 'WORK ETHICS

 
• GOD-THE-FATHER, GOD-THE MESSIAH, AND GOD-THE HOLY SPIRIT ARE REAL!

 
• YOUNGSTERS NEED TO CONTRIBUTE TO THE GOOD OF THEIR IMMEDIATE COMMUNITY

 
• FIVE 'Cs' OF DEVELOPMENT

 
• CHILDREN NEED PETS

 
• YOUNGSTERS NEED TO CARE FOR AND HELP OTHERS

 
• YOUNGSTERS NEED TO TALK OVER PROBLEMS

 
• YOUNGSTEERS SHOULD BE ENCOURAGED AND EXPECTED TO QUESTION ADULT


                    

• 'FREE ENTERPRISE' NEEDS TO BE ENCOURAGED

 
• YOUNG PEOPLE NEED TO BE MODERN-DAY 'RENAISSANCE PEOPLE'

 
• YOUNGSTERS' SELF-IMAGE AND SELF-CONCET

 
• CHILDREN'S NEED TO EXPRESS FEELINGS AND EMOTIONS

 
• CHILDREN--ESPECIALLY THOSE WITH PROBLEMS--NEED TO SEE WEEKLY (PERHAPS DAILY) GROWTH AND CHANGE

 
• PIAGET WAS RIGHT!

 
• CHILDREN HAVE EMOTIONAL LEVELS JUST AS THEY HAVE AGE LEVELS

 
• YOUNGSTERS HAVE BASIC NEEDS WHICH MUST BE MET

 
• EACH CHILD IS SPECIAL--AND NEEDS TO SEE HIM/HERSELF AS SPECIAL

 
• CHILDREN NEED TO MEMORIZE INFORMATION AS WELL AS THE LOCATION OF THAT INFORMATION
                    
• BOTH VERBAL AND WRITTEN EXPRESSIVE ABILITIES NEED TO BE DEVELOPED

 
• YOUNG PEOPLE NEED TO BE TAUGHT TO ASK QUESTIONS AND TO 'FRAME' QUESTIONS

 
• CHILDREN--OF ALL AGES--NEED TO KNOW RESEARCH QUESTIONS

 
• CHILDREN NEED TO DEVELOPE RESPONSIBILITY FROM AN EARLY AGE

 
• CHILDREN NEED TO UNDERSTAND DEVELOPEMENT OF SEXUALITY

 
• LEADERSHIP SKILLS NEED TO BE TAUGHT

 
• A WELL-ROUNDED INDIVIDUAL INCLUDES DEVELOPMENT OF SOCIAL, ACADEMIC, CULTURAL, INTERPERSONAL, AND OTHER SKILLS

 
• YOUNGSTERS NEED TO BE TAUGHT 'CRITICAL THINKING' SKILLS

 
• YOUNGSTERS OF ALL AGES NEED A LIVERAL ARTS EDUCATION

 
• CHILDREN NEED TO BE TAUGHT HOW TO LIVE WITH WHAT THEY HAVE DONE


                    

• THOSE WORKING WITH CHILDREN MAY VERY WELL BE HEALING BODY, MIND, AND SOUL

 
• IT WILL TAKE A VERY LONG TIME TO HELP CHILDREN WHO HAVE BEEN BADLY HURT EMOTIONALLY

 
• A CHILD CAN DO JUST ABOUT ANYTHING HE/SHE WANTS IF HE/SHE WANTS TO

 
• EACH CHILD NEEDS AN ADULT MENTOR

 
• CHILDREN NEED STRUCTURE AND ORGANIZATION

 
• CHILDREN DO NOT LEARN BY OSMOSIS; THEY MUST BE TAUGHT

 
• YOUNGSTERS NEED ROLE MODELS SHOWING CORRECT/APPROPRIATE BEHAVIOR

 
• IF CHILDREN ARE TO BEHAVE IN A PARTICULAR MANNER, THEY MUST BE TAUGHT THAT MANNER

 
• GIVE A CHILD WITH MAJOR PROBLEMS (DELINQUENCY, CRIMINAL) SOMETHING PHYSICALLY BIGGER THAN HE/SHE IS WITH WHICH TO DEAL

 
• I WOULD RATHER SURROUND A CHILD (ESPECIALLY WITH PROBLEMS) WITH BEAUTY  WILL BE DESTROYED THAT SURROUND A CHILD WITH UGLINESS (CONCRETE, BARS, LOCKS, UNCARING PEOPLE) WHICH FOREVER DESTROYS THE BEAUTY WITHIN THAT CHILD


                    

• CHILDREN LEARN WHAT WE GIVE THEM TO LEARN

 
• THOSE PEOPLE WORKING WITH CHILDREN NEED TO BE ARTISANS IN THEIR OWN RIGHT

 
• THE ONE THING WHICH ALL CHILDREN WANT TO BE IS GOOD AND SUCCESSFUL ADULTS

 
• IN ORDER TO FEEL GOOD ABOUT LIFE, A CHILD MUST FIRST FEEL GOOD ABOUT HIMSELF

 
• EDUCATION MUST BE BOTH BASIC IN NATURE AND AS EXHIBITED IN OUTCOMES

 
• EACH CHILD MUST BE A FULL AND EQUALLY PARTICIPATING MEMBER OF THE TEAM WORKING WITH HIM

 
• CHILDREN NEED TO HAVE EVERYTHING EXPLAINED TO THEM

 
• KIDS MAY NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THEY HAVE DONE SOMETHING

 
• ADULTS SPEND TO MUCH TIME TALKING AT KIDS, NOT WITH THEM

 
• SOMETIMES ACTION IS MORE UNDERSTANDABLE TO CHILDREN THAN ARE WORDS


                    

• WE HAVE TO DEAL WITH CHILDREN AT THEIR EMOTIONAL LEVEL OF DEVELOPMENT

 
• WE NEED TO HELP CHILDREN UNDERSTAND THINGS AT THEIR LEVEL

 
• KIDS WILL ACCEPT PUNISHMENT, INCLUDING A SEVERE SPANKING, AS LONG IT IS LOVINGLY, CARINGLY ADMINISTERED, AND IS BOTH FAIR AND JUST

 
• CHILDREN ARE CONSIDERABLY MORE FAIR AND JUST THAN ADULTS

 
• KIDS--BOYS ESPECIALLY--ARE MUCH LIKE PUPPIES IN THAT THEIR PLAY IS VERY PHYSICAL

 
• CHILDREN NEED TO LEARN TO PRACTICE RANDOM--AND SENSELESS--ACTS OF KINDNESS

 
• "A SOFT ANSWER TURNETH AWAY WRATH"

 
• KIDS CAN!  (DO AND ACCOMPLISH THINGS)

 
• ADULTS WHO WORK WITH CHILDREN NEED TO THINK (REASON, RESPOND, ACT/REACT) LIKE CHILDREN

 
• CHILDREN NEED LOVE, FORGIVENESS, PURPOSE, HOPE IN THEIR LIVES


                    

• CHILDREN, TOO, HAVE THE SAME BASIC NEEDS OF FOOD, CLOTHING, AND SHELTER AS DO ADULTS

 
• NEVER ASSUME A CHILD KNOWS ANYTHING

 
• CHILDREN NEED TO LEARN ABOUT FEELINGS AND EMOTIONS, ESPECIALLY THEIR OWN

 
• CHILDREN ARE INHERENTLY HONEST

 
• WHEN CHILDREN DO LIE, (A) THEY HAVE A REASON TO AND (B) BELIEVE THAT THEY CAN GET AWAY WITH IT

 
• CHILDREN HAVE AN INHERENT SENSE OF FAIRNESS(FAIRPLAY), HONESTY, RIGHTNESS, AND JUSTICE

 
• IN OPRDER TO TEACH CHILDREN, A PERSON MUST BE ABLE TO CONTROL THEM AND TO GET THEIR ATTENTION

 
• ADULTS MUST LISTEN TO CHILDREN

 
• KIDS NEED TO BE TAUGHT TO LOVE, TO BE SHOWN WHAT LOVE IS, TO BE TOLD "I LOVE YOU"

 
• ONCE A CHILD HAS BEEN PUNISHED, DROP THE MATTER


                    

• 'GENTLE BREAKING' WORKS JUST AS WELL WITH CHILDREN AS IT DOES WITH HORSES

 
• PRAISE THE CHILD FOR DOING, SAYING, AND BEING NICE; FOR DOING NICE THINGS

 
• CHILDREN AND BACKPACKS

If nothing else, it is an eye-catching title and so I have quite freely borrowed the concept.