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December 13, 1999
Philosophy beats fear. Like, if you come out of the doctor's office and you've just been told that you have cancer, and you're hyperventilating and that reptile part of your brain, there in the back, is shrieking, "Oh no, oh no, where can I run?" then the thing to do is look at the bigger picture. Imagine that you could never be hurt or killed. Wouldn't the loss of risk take all the urgency and sweetness out of life? It would be as boring as a story with no conflict in it. So it's good that we are mortal. That doesn't mean you shouldn't fight cancer, of course. The struggle is the point.
December 12, 1999
People are different from one another. Really, really different. We think differently. We approach problems from different directions, find different solutions that work for us, and perceive the world around us through different values. We are, I believe, wired differently. What I'm trying to say is not to judge someone to be maladjusted or weird because, for example, their sense of humor isn't the same as yours, or they don't see the point in reading fiction, or they are never late to an appointment, or they keep score when they play solitaire. Actually, isn't it fun that we're not all identical? Otherwise, any conversation would be just like talking to yourself.
December 5, 1999
After you make your to-do list for the day, go through
and cross out:
1. All the things you know you're really not going
to do. Because having that stuff on the list is just pointless self-flagellation.
2. All of the "If I were perfect, I would do this
every day" stuff. Because if you become perfect today, you'll do
it even if it isn't on a list.
3. Anything altruistic, unless you feel really
excited about it and know you have time to do it today.
4. Anything that takes longer than you have time
for today. For example, if you need to weed the garden and it's going
to take about six hours and you're only going to have about half an hour
to spare for it, write down: "Weed one row of garden," or whatever
you can realistically do in half an hour.
5. If you have more than ten things on your list,
or more than seven non-trivial things (a trivial thing would be "put letters
in mailbox"), then move something to tomorrow's list and cross it off today's.
6. If something has been getting bumped from one
day's list to the next for over a week, consider whether you can get away
with not doing it at all, ever.
November 6, 1999
It's much easier to write advice like this than it is to live by it.
Saving stuff that might come in handy later, is like playing a slot machine. Sometimes there is a big payoff. You really need a rubber band and wow! You know right where one is. It's very rewarding, and you remember that. But what you don't remember is the petty nuisance and ugliness of all that clutter in your house, and the tiny frustration every time you look at that odd little black plastic doodad that stays on the kitchen counter because you know you'd forget all about it if you put it in a drawer, and if you lose it or throw it away, you're afraid it'll be what you needed to make some expensive appliance work and then you'll have to send away to Japan for another little black plastic doodad to replace it. BUT (getting to the point at last), that's exactly how a slot machine works. You remember winning ten dollars because it was so exciting, but you forget putting in sixty-three quarters because they were only quarters. Usually, you don't come out ahead of the game. The cost of saving little doodads is small change, too, but it, too, adds up.
October 21, 1999:
Acts of kindness never come back to haunt you. Acts of malice always do. Whether you're religious or not, the Biblical riff about casting your bread upon the water and having it come back tenfold, that's fact. And it applies to words as well as deeds. Kind words never attract your foot to your mouth.
June 29, 1999:
Try to exercise first thing in the morning. If you put it off, you may find yourself waiting to take your shower till after you work out, which is not the pleasantest way to face the day. Especially in hot weather.
Lies are unfair. Everyone is trying to figure out what is going on in the world, we're all more or less clueless here, and to deliberately mislead someone is a great disservice. This even applies to telemarketers. Don't tell them you're not home. That's what answering machines are for (and "not available at this time" isn't a lie).
If you find yourself running away from a chore you need to do, stop and figure out exactly what small steps the chore consists of, then do just the first step. Often, that's all it takes to get you going so you'll finish it.
Pre-July, 1999:
Finish what you start. Otherwise, you end up with a houseful of partial projects.
Don't marry with the intention of changing the one you love. Either accept them with all their faults (and be glad if they happen to change on their own), or don't marry them at all.
When a row of cars wants to merge into your lane, let one in. If you have cars behind you, allow in no more than one.
When someone cuts you off in traffic, remember that they may need to go to the bathroom very desperately and therefore are rushing to get home.
Always stop and smell the roses. Or freshly-baked bread. Or the rainy-weather smell in the bathroom just after someone has showered.
After you've written something, go through and break up all the run-on sentences into separate, shorter sentences.
If you wake up with a fuzzy head, sometimes eating steamed broccoli will clear it right up.